Forget corner offices and boardrooms, the crib is the new executive suite, and my daughter, the baby boss, at the ripe old age of 9 months, is the CEO of Chaos, Inc. Don’t be fooled by the gurgling and the gummy grin – this tiny tyrant wields a power that would make Machiavelli blush. I mean the girl just doesn’t take no for an answer.
Management Style: Diaper Diplomacy
Unlike most CEOs, my daughter’s leadership style revolves around a single, highly effective tool: the dirty diaper. This seemingly mundane object has the uncanny ability to trigger boardroom-level meltdowns that would put any hostile takeover to shame. Negotiations for playtime or snack time often end with a whimper and a strategic deploy of the “diaper diplomacy” tactic.
Meetings: Unplanned and Unruly
There’s no water cooler gossip or TPS reports in this company. Every meeting is a surprise, often occurring at 2 AM with an agenda consisting solely of demands for milk and cuddles. Boardroom attire is optional (usually a onesie with questionable stain patterns), and presentations are delivered through a series of high-pitched shrieks and expressive facial expressions.
Delegation: A Work in Progress
While my daughter excels at delegating diaper changes and bath time to unsuspecting bystanders (usually me), the concept of self-feeding or sleeping through the night remains a mystery. Apparently, micromanaging every aspect of the operation is crucial for peak company performance (or at least, that’s what the constant fussing seems to suggest).
The Perks of the Job
Despite the chaos, being the COO (Chief Operating Officer – of cuddles, that is) of this company has its perks. The board meetings, though unscheduled, are filled with an infectious amount of joy. The product reviews (usually involving puréed vegetables and a very critical facial expression) are hilarious. And the company culture, while demanding, is built entirely on love, laughter, and an endless supply of milk.
So, is it all sunshine and rainbows?
Absolutely not. There are days when the tantrums sound like a hostile takeover in progress, and the sleep deprivation rivals any boardroom all-nighter. But amidst the chaos, there’s an undeniable love and a bond that only comes with leading (or perhaps being led by) a tiny CEO with a heart of gold (and a very full diaper).
But seriously, let her be
On a serious note, if you want to raise a future boss, then this is how you empower your daughter:
- Nurture your daughter’s inner boss lady by fostering her confidence and leadership skills. Get her to read the right material about what leadership is, tell her she is great and show appreciation of her skills on every opportunity you get.
- Encourage her to take initiative, voice her opinions, and solve problems independently. If she wants to be on the debate team or participate on competition, support her.
- Provide opportunities for her to lead by example, whether it’s organising a neighbourhood playdate or tackling a team project at school. Try a variety of opportunities, so she can identify her talent as early in life as possible.
- Teach her how to stand up for herself, defend her rights, fight bullying, peer pressure, and nurture her strength and trust for who she is
- Celebrate her successes, big and small, and teach her to learn from setbacks. Teach her how to deal with pressure and that failure is part of life.
- By instilling a strong work ethic, resilience, and a belief in her own capabilities, you’ll be empowering her to navigate the professional world with confidence and pave the way for a future where she can conquer the boardroom (or whatever her ambitious heart desires).
Finally remember, teach her what you can and let her be herself.
